Sometimes when I meet a new person, I instantly get the feeling that she
hates me. A friend introduces us, we exchange name, shake hands, I make some funnies,
and yet she stares at me like I’m gum on her shoe. We’ll meet several
more times and these feelings only seem to persist. By the fifth
meeting, however, we’re the bestest of friends. “Hey, how’ve you been?”
Handshakes are now hugs. We might even have an inside joke. Looking
back, it’s hard to fathom how this person (or any person, for that
matter) could’ve disliked such a charming young gentleman as me. As it
turns out, she never once hated me, I only though she did – because of
her default face.
Default face is the expression one subconsciously wears when not in
any particular mood. It’s the look of a stranger on a train. A man in
line for the ATM. A woman watching the nightly news. Everyone has one,
whether or not he/she is fully aware of it. Some people have very
neutral default faces, while others look like they’re always smiling, or
smirking, or scowling. It’s not an expression of their current mood;
it’s just how their faces naturally settles. I believe it’s called
faceometrics.
Now back to my new best friend. She never really disliked me. My
jokes were witty and tasteful. My demeanor debonair. I only thought she
wanted to throw me of a cliff because of her default face. In this case,
bitch face. Sorry to say, but there are certain individuals, and we’ve
all met them, who have the bitch face. It’s unfortunate that they are
unknowingly sending the world a “I’m so better than you” vibe, but
that’s exactly what is happening. Once you get to know a Bitch Face, you
may realize that he/she is a genuinely nice person. All of a sudden,
the bitch face disappears and you just see Heather.
The takeaway here: be aware of your default face, as well as the ones
of those you meet. That smiley guy on your morning train could be a
Neo-Nazi who takes great pleasure in drowning puppies. That Bitch Face
in line at Safeway could your future wife. Below is a highly scientific
illustration, identifying some of the most common default faces.
