FEAR

     Everyone has a fear.  Something that speeds up the heart, sends shivers down the spine, and causes one to cower like aaaaaaaa, like aaaaaaaa, like aaaaaaaa... coward.  For Howie Mandel, it's germs.  For Matthew McConaughey, it's revolving doors.  For Nick Carter, it's success (lucky for him).  For me, it's this:

     Television static.  Just looking at this puts me in a state of great unease; I can hear that horrible hissing sound that exists in the void between TV stations.  It's overwhelming.  It's paralyzing. It's fingernails running down a chalkboard.  

     This all goes back to childhood.  For one haunted week in grade school, the family room TV had a poltergeist.  At randoms times during the dead of night it would turn itself on.  STATIC.  FULL VOLUME.  Yanked violently from my slumber, I descended the dark stairs, the TV growling louder and louder as I drew nearer.  I struggled and staggered against the crackling current.  With one final lunge, I hit the power button, ending the nightmare.  Before an electrician or paranormal detective could properly diagnose the problem, the TV was gone.  We had opted for a larger (less possessed) screen.

     While its days have all but vanished, the emotional damage TV static has caused me cannot be erased.  Changing the TV input from HDMI 1 to Component 2 is a nerve racking experience.  Coat hanger antennas stand like a crucifix to a vampire.  I find myself unable to watch the first 10 seconds of HBO original programming.  Skrillex sends me into fetal position... unless it's the dub-steb remix of Adele's "Someone Like You". Dance-crying is so in right now.